Time to Get a Grip
Back in the beginning of March, I wrote a blog about feeling stuck. At that time, I was feeling judgmental of myself and I had committed to working with a life coach to help me get out of this stuck point. Since then, I have actually managed to get a grip and I am no longer feeling stuck. To give you a visual, the feeling is now much more like pedaling hard on a bike to see what’s around the corner rather than being bogged down in a huge mud puddle and getting nowhere.
Even though I totally believe in the value of life coaching (I’d be a bad life coach if I didn’t), it was still a little shocking to me how easily, quickly and fluidly I managed to get this grip. After just one session, I was activated to pursue so many things that were previously just thoughts. The intention for me in hiring a coach was to focus on my business and the result is that I have done more on my business in the last few weeks than I have for the last year. And here’s the bonus; I have taken action on things that I didn’t even set an intention for. I have started seeing an athletic therapist to rehab an injury, which resulted in a regular work-out routine and improved eating habits. I have started planning and plotting my garden, even though there’s still a foot of snow on the ground. I’ve gotten work done around my house that has been needed for at least a year.
What I think was the most significant factor to this speedy shift in my energy was the fact that I made a specific decision to actually do something about my situation. I got out of my head and had to reach out to someone and ask for support. As a result of this decision, my motivation increased as well as my determination to move forward.
Another really significant factor in getting a grip was asking for help from experts. Both my life coach and athletic therapist require me to specify my long term intentions, they help me break down this vision into manageable steps, and they provide me with accountability. I know each time I meet with them, they will ask what I have done to follow-through on my plans and I find I’m much more likely to do what I said I would, when I know I will have to report to someone I respect and trust is looking out for me.
One more factor that has helped me move forward was the financial investment I made. I know, lots of people buy gym memberships thinking that they will go work out regularly to “get their money’s worth”. This had happened to me too. So maybe it’s not the investment I’ve made in the experts as much as it’s the investment the experts have made in me. With a gym membership, no one person is keeping track of your plan, cheerleading when you have success, and supporting you when you have struggles. Within the one-on-one relationships with my life coach and my athletic therapist, both have high expectations of me. It is so clear to me that they are in my corner and they want what’s best for me without imposing their own values. There is magic in the one-on-one supportive relationship that is difficult to describe but for me it is undeniable.
Here’s the most interesting part of this getting a grip process for me. I’ve written previously about my mom’s dementia and this circumstance in my life have not changes at all. In fact, she continues to deteriorate before my eyes and there are less moments of really connection between us. So despite the significant pain of slowly losing my mom that I experience everyday, I have found positive energy.
When I was stuck, I felt drained and the efforts I made to try to recover were also energy draining. Things like sitting in front of the tv and avoiding contact with other people were typical for me. My thoughts were dominated by my sadness.
Now that I have decided to put more energy into my movement forward, my daily choices are also more energy producing. And I have to say I don’t mind being distracted from thinking about my mom. I am still sad a lot but it doesn’t consume me. I have made caring for me as important as caring for my mom, and as a result I bring her my best me. That’s what she deserves in the time she has left on this earth.
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